Wikipedia Has a Sense of Humor
April 7, 2007 | 2 Comments
Every once in awhile someone adds a bit of bunk to an article, or creates an article on a crazy topic in Wikipedia. I had always assumed these things were quietly giggled at by the creator and whichever editor stumbled upon the entry. However, these entries are diligently cataloged and saved in the Wikipedia page: And now for something completely different… Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense.
Here is a sampling of my favorites:
From God:
The Biblical God’s full name is usually given as Ronald God, and he is usually characterized as being married to Thomas the Nun, an 80-year-old holy woman. Together they are said by some manuscripts to have one son, Zeke, but some scholars argue that Zeke God is intended as a symbolic character rather than a concrete personage.
From chicken
I eat chicken poop for dinner because it is part of my medicine i need to take for my disease
From “WikiVandal”
a “WikiVandal” is someone who goes into Wikipedia and edits articles in a purposefully destructive manner.
Phrase Coined by a bored University of Washington student who decided to try editing The Pope’s article to say “Being gay is totally awesome. it is not a sin. people who think it is are SO taking what my dad said WAY too literally.” however, this is not a new concept. people have been malevolently altering articles to say things of this nature on a near-endless basis, and are the bane of wikipedia. most are immature children with nothing better to do, or drunken college students who are bored out of their booze-addled skull.
From Old People
Old people are people who are old. Old people often retire from their jobs.
From Peke
A peke is a small yellow creture that lives in homes.(Not your home.) Pekes can talk and walk just like a human. Pekes like warm places. Pekes worship ketchup. A peke has no brain. All that is inside a peke’s head is a wind-up monkey bashing simbols together and possibly a few tumble weeds. Beware:Pekes are deadly beasts that like violence and things that go boom! Cation:Peke may explode!
From Mikey chait
A large, semi-useless person with an athletic build. He enjoys long walks on the beach and attending to his mother. He likes ice cream, especially chocolate. It tastes like chicken to him, because he has four tongues. If you see Mikey Chait, report it to the police immediately and run for your life. When you get home, eat three pies and spin around fourteen times while holding your left fourth finger on your nose.
From Hobophobe
The irrational fear that gangs of hobos could decend from the nearest train yard and take over your town, much like zombies in the living dead movies. The smell of cheap alcohol, the sight of a barrel fire and even old beat up tan coats have been known to send Hobophobes into a state of panic. Hobophobes aren’t able to control this all encompassing fear of the more transient element of society and have even been known to move to places where there are not railroad lines for hundreds of miles in order to feel safe.
There are hundreds of other funny postings here, many to long to quote, specifically, go read these: Mallpunk, Auburn Junior High School, Hot Dogs and Incest, Dizzytron, Bedworth, peanut balancing, or Suv tipping.
This entry is hours of fun, have at it.
Tags: Auburn Junior High School, Bedworth, chicken, crazy, Dizzytron, funny, god, Hobophobe, Hot Dogs and Incest, humor, Mallpunk, Mikey chait, Old People, peanut balancing, Peke, Suv tipping, wikipedia
Alternate “Extreme” Sport
February 12, 2006 | Comments Off
Wheelbarrow Freestyle is a new wave of sport involving doing mad tricks with a wheelbarrow. They refer to it as “seriously up-to-date new wave extreme sports trickery.”
OK, so sport might be pushing it a bit, but these guys are cool anyway.
Maybe not as intense as Le Parkour, but entertaining nonetheless.
Tags: cool, crazy, extreme sports, freestyle, sport, sports, wheelbarrow
Killer Dophins Loose in the Gulf!
January 9, 2006 | 7 Comments
All my friends thought I was crazy when I told them about the killer dolphins set loose by Hurricane Katrina. However, the Guardian: Observer ran Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina, a story that adamently confirms that:
Experts who have studied the US navy’s cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying ‘toxic dart’ guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet’s smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.
This story was reported to them by 72 year old Leo Sheridan who has worked for government and industry. He said he had received intelligence from sources “close to the US.” Sheridan is known for reports about other military related dolphin deaths and crop circles.
Other frightening news on the dolphin front was reported by America’s most respected news source.
Additional detail was provided by a respected British author:
In our effort to leave, we caused a weather distortion, and as such have taken the dolphin race with us to act as our agents in galactic control.”
When asked to elaborate upon the dolphins, they replied:
“The dolphins were conducting a case study of the primitive humans and how they used the tools at hand to advance their agenda. They allowed themselves to be retrofitted with primitive weapons by the humans, let themselves be ‘trained’. They were on the verge of prooving their thesis that primitive government is overrated, and is doomed by corruption though the lack of intelligence in the upper classes of society when we were forced to extract them. While their thesis remains unprooved, they gained valuable experience in terrorizing with head-mounted implements. We plan to upgrade them from dart guns to lasers in the near future.”
When the galactic president, Zaphod Beeblebrox, was asked to comment, he refused to say anything but “I for one welcome our head-mounted laser-wielding attack dolphin overlords.”
Tags: crazy, dolphin, dolphins, douglas adams, gulf, gulf of mexico, hoax, hurricane, hurricane katrina, katrina, killer dolphins, laser, laser wielding, leo sheridan, sheridan, the onion, toxic darts, zaphod beeblebrox
Crazy Christmas Lights to Music
November 30, 2005 | 12 Comments
Sara passed me along this great video courtest of one of her co-workers. Whover did this clearly has both skill and a great deal of time on their hands. A great feat in Christmas over-engineering. Normally I find excessive decorations or lights tacky, but this is just plain impressive.
Turn up you volume and enjoy this music. I think it’s even Trans-Siberian Orchestra which rules.
View the Video (WMV format 5MB)
I suppose there is a good chance this was done as stop motion animation and completely faked, but even if that’s the case, it still rules.
(If anyone knows who I should credit as the source of this video, let me know and I’ll happily do so. I received it uncredited, standalone.)
Tags: christmas, christmas lights, crazy, decoration, light, lights, music, orchestra, synchronized lights, video
World’s Fastest Furniture?
October 27, 2005 | 5 Comments
I stumbled across the Casual Lofa” today which happens to hold the Guinness Word Record for fastest furniture. This thing has been officially clocked at an extreme 87mph. What I find more entertaining is that these same guys have built a bed on wheels called the “Street Sleeper” that will do 69mph. I think they went a bit too far with the “Bog Standard” which is a tub, toilet, sink combo that cruises at 71mph.
Not sure what the deal really is with these Cummfy Banana guys, but according to their site:
Cummfy Banana is an innovative company which designs, manufactures and provides unique vehicles for advertising, corporate promotional work and special occasions such as weddings and proms.
Truthfully, I don’t think anyone is currently competing against them for the title of World’s Fastest Furniture, so its quite likely they’ll hold this title for some time to come…
Tags: bog standard, casual lofa, couch, crazy, cummfy banana, fast bed, fast furniture, furniture, guinness book of world records, mph, racing furniture, record, records, sofa, speed, street sleeper, wacky, world record, world's fastest, world's fastest furniture