September 14, 2005 | 1 Comment
Plymouth House of Pizza, Plymouth, NH: Approximately 12:15 Monday, September 12th, a colleague, having lunch with her friend noticed a couple “going at it” in a booth next to her. They were horizontal, laying down with hands up each other’s shirts. Knowing the owner of the establishment, she pointed out the activities. At this point she noticed these were in fact two women. She describes them as “lipstick lesbians.” The explicit behavior was deemed to be inappropriate, gender mix regardless, the proprietor promptly instructed the lipstick lesbians to “break it up.” At this point the lipstick lesbians became a bit twitchy, they started spouting innumerable expletives. The owner of the establishment then asked the couple to vacate the premises. They became enraged, but left without paying for their meal.
Approximately 10 minutes later they returned, far angrier than before. As they stormed back in, they shouted at the proprietor, “you’re just jealous you can’t get p***y or d**k!” They began hollering, uttering additional expletives. They walked up to the counter and violently cleared it off. Plymouth House of Pizza began a tempest of flying restaurant paraphernalia. As they loudly laid waste to P-Hop, they made their way back out into the entranceway. As first hand accounts of the proprietor would later reveal, one of the assailants proceeded to strip off the blouse, revealing the other’s mammary. Lipstick lesbian #1 yelled “Wanna see what I can do?!?” and placed her mouth on the naked breast.
They then ran to their car, squealing away.
When asked for comment, the quotable local Jenny Sweedler said loudly, “This would not have been acceptable with a man and a man or a man woman combo.”
The following account is a true story. Fun to write, but absolutely true. No lipstick lesbians were directly harmed in the making of this story, and the anonymous assailants are still at large.
(Co-authored by [Co-Author Name Removed By Request].)
New Hampshire, deviant behavior, crime, exhibition, exhibitionist
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