No Sheep

Partially De-Fatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue

// November 15th, 2005 // My Stuff

Reading DamnInteresting, I was pointed at Steve, Don’t Eat It!. Reading this was at times laugh out loud funny, but continually stomach churning. I thought Hufu was bad, that’s nothing compared to what Steve faces down over the course of nine outragous volumes!


From Volume 1, Potted Meat Food Product:

Inside is a smooth, oddly pink meat paste. So smooth, in fact, I dare call it “creamy.” (I actually got a little gaggy just typing that.) Surprisingly, it was a little spicier than I expected. Although, that sensation may have been a by-product of my tastebuds dying.

From Volume 2, Pickled Pork Rinds:

These are not the crunchy pork rinds you’ll often see over by the chips. These are their grosser, soggier, potentially botulism-ier cousins.
[...]
I knew I was in trouble as soon as I opened the jar, and heard no reassuring vacuum seal. I must admit that made me nervous, but what are the odds of a dusty jar of warm pig skin going bad, right?

Lifting the lid revealed a weird sour smell, something akin to mild vinegar and stale meat.

From Volume 4, 1991 Urkel-Os:

I’m not exactly sure how to say this, but… THE CEREAL IS STILL GOOD! I swear to God.

I’m a little freaked out. Should I call the Pope? This is a miracle, right? I mean, I used to think the idea of suspended animation and cryogenics was pretty cool, but the hell with that. If I die, don’t freeze my brain — just bury me in a box of Urkel-O’s. Apparently it has the ability to stop time.

Alright if any of that was at all intriguing, go read the whole torrid affair.

food, disgusting, funny, humor, gross, gross food, eat, pork, pork rinds, cereal, fat, fatty, creamy, urkel, pickled, miracle, meat, meat food

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