God Declares War on Boy Scouts
July 29, 2005
The angry God has returned. On Tuesday, July 26th, four scout leaders were killed in an electrical accident while putting up a tent. Most thought this was a tragic accident. Proof to the contrary came today when lightning struck another group killing another leader and leaving a 13-year old boy braindead.
These strikes are either acts of war or terrorism on the part of God. Following President Bush’s stance of postponing his speech to the scouts, I believe he has aligned himself with God. Surely God must not be a terrorist if Bush has sided with Him. Therefore war is the only explanation.
Karel from Advocate.com published a similar article, here’s an excerpt:
First came the tragic death of four scout leaders, setting up a dining tent. By all accounts, it was biblical carnage at its best. Scouts watched as a metal pole at the center of the large, white tent touched power lines, electrocuting four adult leaders and injuring others. According to accounts published in the July 29 Guardian Unlimited, “Screams rang out as the tent caught fire and the men burned.�
That’s downright Old Testament.
I suggested that more strikes may be on the way, and boy scouts better be on the lookout. When asked for comment on the subject friend Jenny Sweedler said: “The weekend is a great time for God to do some killing.”
God was unavailable for comment. Updates will follow as info about further attacks comes in.
More info:
CNN: Safety review after 4 Scout leaders die at Jamboree
CNN: Scout on life support after lightning strike
Washington Post: Bush’s Visit to Scouts Postponed Again
Tags: boy scouts, Bush, death, holy war, jamboree, lightning, old testament, president Bush, scouts, terrorism, war
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3 Responses to “God Declares War on Boy Scouts”
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[...] While these most recent events are by far the most intense, they are by no means the sole example of God’s frustrations overly conservative groups of people recently. Last year he repeatedly punished Florida with hurricanes for its part in the 2000 instillation of George W. Bush, and earlier this Summer, He declared war against the Boy Scouts for their intolerance of gays. [...]
[...] When asked for comment, the quotable local Jenny Sweedler said loudly, “This would not have been acceptable with a man and a man or a man woman combo.” [...]
These are sick comments. You have obviously never been around a family who has lost a child or a father.
If you were trying to be funny you were not. If you were serious, then you need help.
DH Smith